I had a conversation with my sister a few years back that I’ll never forget. It kind of stuck to the walls of my brain as an “aww-haa” moment, and every once in a wile I’ll come across something that will scratch its edges and cause it to resurface. When I released my first book she told me that she couldn’t believe how “brave” I was.
I kind of looked at her like she was crazy. I mean really, brave? I’ve always thought of brave as being a war hero, or even someone who is escaping a violent relationship. Anything that caused some form of an actual physical threat. At the time I never would’ve used the word “brave” to describe releasing a book. In my view – I wrote a book, so that was the next step, no second thought required. I asked to her elaborate because I was clearly confused. This is where the “aww-haa” comes in. The part that is forever etched into memory.
Obviously it was years ago, so I don’t remember her exact words. But she said something like this, “You’re so confident in your work. Most people keep that kind of thing to themselves because they’re scared of the way people will look at them and judge them. I’d never dream of putting my imagination on paper like that and actually let people see it… But you’re different. You just know that you will be a success some day. I don’t understand your confidence.”
I explained to her that I didn’t feel overly confident, not in the way she explained it anyway. I was actually very surprised that she saw me that way. I told her that my confidence was more of a calm. I wasn’t extracting beams of success rays all over the place, and I didn’t just KNOW that I’d be successful either. I just felt calm… That simple. My writing is what it is, and if people like it they like it, if they don’t they don’t. There was no sense in dwelling on other people opinions. I write because I love the process, and I published because HELLO, I WROTE A FREAKING BOOK! I mean honestly, why wouldn’t I publish it?
It was hard to explain the workings of humble quiet confidence to someone who clearly didn’t understand. I guess the sort of thing is only truly understood as it’s felt. For me, confidence comes in the form of a CALM energy.
I’m currently finishing up an amazing book, I will post a review soon so hold your breath… This book is very well written, I can’t wait to tell everyone all about it! The author is a fellow blogger, and when I received the ARC from her I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I’m completely blown away by her style and flow. I came across a paragraph in her book last night that brought the conversation with my sister to the surface…. Front and center. This paragraph explained the feeling of calm confidence so beautifully, I just have to share!!!
In This Really Happened, by Annmarie McQueen, there is a paragraph that says:
“I wondered what it’d be like to be nothing more than light energy; swirling, raging, untamed energy, no boundaries or limits, no ends or beginnings, no single form to hold me captive. I could be anything. I could be everywhere at once. I could be invincible. Boundless. Wild. Infinite. I felt a sudden peace, as if for a moment everything inside me had stilled. The idea of it was beautiful and I tried to cling onto it, to store it away somewhere safe…..”
You can explore This Really Happened on Amazon HERE!!!
Now if this paragraph alone doesn’t make you want to read this book, then I don’t know what’s wrong with you.
The point in this post, is to RELAX! In my opinion, real confidence comes in a swirling excited CALM. It’s humble, its quiet, and its pure, as long as you know everything will work out, and as long as you don’t harbor anxiety and a constant nagging fear or worry, then your confidence will surely bleed through.