Back To The Writing Grind!

Time ticks on for a wanna-be

Like me

Wrapped up and swallowed

Raw, whole

Into pieces we’re pulled

Distributed,

Like wholesale, 

Passed out in bulk

Be a mom

Work your job

Write all those stories

They’re brewing in your head

Don’t stop

Can’t rest

Sun-up to sun-down

Yet, we manage

To find ourselves

Mediocre

At best.

Wow, that was some spew of consequential nonsense, but it felt nice to type. I haven’t logged into my blog for months… months!  *face palm*. Some writer I am, trying to make a splash in the big bad world of literary warfare… right?

But it’s okay – it really is – and let me tell you why. This year has brought a lot of changes in the day to day routine of life. Not only for me, but for many across the globe. Here in the U.S our economy is shit, and I know that it’s likewise elsewhere. I don’t do politics. I hate politics in fact, so don’t worry, that isn’t the route I’m about to take. The path that I’m steering is more personal, resonating and surreal than politics could even dream of being. Am I being dramatic, am I not?

What I’m about to delve into is the waking moments that actually make a difference in the reality of our daily lives.

I picked up a full time job this year, and I haven’t worked like this since around the time my kids were born. My oldest will be 10 in a week. So yeah, a decade.. Holy shit, where does the time actually go? Some void, swallowed in the rearview? A memory bubble that the best of us imagine to be an alternate universe, of sorts?

I rejoined the joys of employment, and with that came a complete reevaluation of time management and personal priorities. I know that this is true for so many more out there because it’s practically impossible to afford food, gas and literally anything extra this year without some sort of boost to our bank accounts. Single parent households need extra assistance and double parent households need to have multiple forms of employment just to feed their children. I’m not the only person in this ship, scooping out water by the buckets full; trying to stay afloat.

Some might call it the wake of a pandemic and others will point fingers where they may. Nonetheless it is what it is, and here we are… surviving.

As a working mom, in the first half of 2022, I chose to spend a very large portion of my time dedicated 100% to my family. Every second that I haven’t been at the office, I’ve dedicated to my husband and my littles. They’re growing too fast and this is time that I’ll never get back. My writing career has been put on hold so to speak – I use those few hours that I have in the evenings to enjoy all the little things with my children. Pretending, playing, going to all the places and doing all the things. I pay attention to their giggles, snuggles and struggles. I let the daily moments sink in and I cling to them like our lives depend on it… because they do.

That said….  

As a writer, I choose to look at things from a different angle. The last time I took a step away from the creative march into self-publishing madness, I came back with a new outlook and attitude toward my work. I slowed, caught my breath and realized that every single day has beauty in it, no matter what you have or haven’t accomplished in the waking hours. A fresh perspective on life, and literature, has a bigger impact on creative abilities than comprehension can sometimes allow.

Unwritten manuscripts have been given time to prep before baking. Kind of like gathering all the mental ingredients, chopping, mixing etc. The characters trapped in the mind of a writer at break are given time to marinate in all their quirky goodness.

Personally, I have four manuscripts, just sitting around, waiting (sometimes not so patiently) for my return to them. LATELY they’ve been tap dancing around in there, pounding on doors, demanding my attention. That said, it’s time to let them out. Slowly, of course, they’ll need to get their footing. But seriously, it’s time to make the time, and once again do some reevaluating of my writing time allotment and style even…. before they bust through and make a mess of my sanity. How I’m going to do this, I don’t know. But here I am, back to the blog today, showing it some love. So, wish me luck as I dive back into the ridged water that I for some reason can’t get enough of!

If you’ve been in the same busy boat this year, running thin and choosing to place your priorities elsewhere… yet are ready to get your wordy feet wet in a return to your marinating writing projects then GOOD LUCK TO YOU AS WELL!!